This is something that seriously disturbs me. I just don’t get it. It’s insane. I cant be polite about it. it’s utterly & absolutely ridiculous.
Ok, I was chatting with a friend of my mine a little while ago & I said something rather sweet.
Background: rewind to a coupla years ago when we had a tiny fling which somehow didn’t materialise into a full-fledged relationship & she’s now dating the guy who was next in line at that time.
Ok, I was chatting with this girl a little while ago & I said something rather sweet.
She replied, 'hey be careful, my bf signs in on my account too'
I thought what the f***? Your bf chats on your account?? How frigging freaky is that! I’m glad you warned me...
Well, she says she’s cool with it cos she’s faithful & he wouldn’t ‘catch her’ however much he probes into her account. But that’s beside the frigging point.
Needless to say we’ve hardly chatted since then. Even if I see ‘her’ online I couldn't be bothered to say hi. ofcourse i can ask every time, 'hey is that u or yr bf?' well, that’s not a very bright idea, is it.
She’s a good friend of mine, absolutely adorable & we share perfect chemistry. MSN was the only means of interaction we had resorted to since the good old times. Well, not frequently but every now & then.
She did hint before that he was quite controlling but that’s just way too much. That’s a whole lot more than jealousy, rather insecurity & mistrust bordering on neurosis.
Well, most guys are possessive but it’s YOUR personal account for heaven’s sake!
Ok one might hand it out to someone you trust, maybe out of courtesy or out of some emergency or obligation or something but do you really really want anyone else to keep track of your personal communication? You feel comfortable with that? Is that really necessary? & do you want them to chat on your behalf???
An ex-gf of mine said she gave her password to a close office mate. Well, that guy was into her for a long long while & I suspect he’d have always kept her account under surveillance.
Beats me.
I believe this is a frequent occurrence & i now have to make sure with my online friends whether anyone else uses their account. gosh, i hate having to do this.
It’s your privacy afterall. deserves a little more respect, don’t you think?
April 1, 2008
Password please
I had similar experience recently..
I was chatting thinking its my friend, bt her bf was chatting frm her add..
Im not giving my passwrd to any one :D its a private property of ME..
somepeople give the password n all coz they trust each other.. but I think its coz they dont trust..
aaarrrggghhh, isn't it just insane dho lavendergirl. & your final sentence is absolutely spot on!
nothing of that sort has happened to me but ive heard about it and i say stuff to the person whos doing it too
hehe
some people keep track of stuff like reading mail and stuff and its disgusting
those kinda people, grow up! you aren't five anymore
yep, lavendergirl! ur last sentence is totally true!
and yeah..those ppl are just crazy! dhemeehunge nan jahain dhemeehun addeh hedheema veenu! sheesh! =\
neyge dhen bunaane ehcheh! =\
shaari! shaatey! *insert ur full name here!* y do u have to mention that in my comment box??? y??? ur merciless!!! im sure u remembered e wen u ate that! ehemma munshi ah dheyyyyn vaanu! im so gonna kick you wen i see you!! =T
i totally have to agree with u there. faced the same thing myself. i actually even chatted with the bf and he even pretended to be her and even started flirting which went over the line. as if he wanted me to say something positive so that he could use it when he talked with his gf again. it was jes frigging weird and jes plain WRONG! what the F**K is wrong with these dudes. but mainly what the F**K is wrong with these girls. You dnt show how much u trust ur bf by letting him use your account let alone give him ur password. Ur the ones who are letting the guys be that possessive. maybe its a turn-on or something when someone is possessive about you. :s
i know lots of gals who do that.
as arra said its the problem of the gals...they are too plain friggin stupid that they giv passwords of their MSN accounts and letting their bfs be possessive...aaaargh and the best thing is thse gals wouldnt kno their bfs password. how loyal of them eh!! trustworthy too
stupid gals...and friggin sick boys!!
ovr possessive idiots! :\
n kaiza, lol!!
.mini, dho
shweeeeet, ma balaanamey kick kuran kereytho :-P
kaiza, ouchhh. how many of us wud've had that sort of chat without knowing? scary..
mode, yes i havent heard of an occasion where a girl signs in on her bf's account. so i believe it happens much lesser than the other way round...
bubbly, yups
yes those guys are sick. they are mentally sick. they are just insecure and have low self esteem, so they hide it by being control freaks and controlling their gfs becaues probably they are the only ones they have power over. And those girls need to get a life too.. they think handing over everything to them will make their guy happy, but it wont, it will just go on and on. they shud just nip those kind of behaviour in the bud, because those guys need to get better by themselves and nothing anyone else does will make them better. or happier.
and ironically its those obsessive control freak types that get caught cheating on their partners!!
ur linked in my bloggy! yayiiii!
aint i thuweeeth? ^.^
shaari... u abhor it cos u can't flirt with her?...akakakaka sorry. but can't help it.
i think if she or he wants to give such personal items or article is solely his/her decision.
if u feel it confidential then u don't give it. but if u feel u can, then i don't see any reason.
matters of third party is not a priority in that case.
hhmmm...remember the movie call Pulp Fiction, where Vincent and Jules talks about Marsellus Wallace threw off a guy just bcos he gave a Foot massage to his wife?
anonymous, i dont wanna flirt with her. i only wanna keep in touch. but now i'd rather not say hi even if i see 'her' online. see, that's the result. yes, its solely their decision but i'm sure even u'll feel cheated when u realise u just spoke to a person other than whom u thought u did. it simply doesnt make sense.
i'm sure noone will wholeheartedly want anyone else to use their personal account. i cant help but think it's a result of some kind of pressure, mostly by their loved ones. nope, cant agree with u here. gimme one gud reason why u'd need yr gf/bf's password other than pure insecurity? well, unless they dont have electricity & cant check their mail, fine. & most of all, why the hell wud u need to sign in on their msn account? if u can give me a reason other than surveillance, great.
& 3rd parties do matter cos there's a whole lot more to one's life than their bf or gf, & the 3rd parties are the ones who fall victims to this kinda thing. see the story of kaiza shozey above. that's a serious injustice to human interaction. i'm sure he wudnt be chatting with 'her' again...
shaari if u think its pressure and act of surveillance,i think she wouldn't invite "discreet friends" to same platform. instead she can easily create a new account.
and u only reacted only to one side of story... how well u know that she can access to his email account? if so, then both of them is genuine.
their love is more important for them. if there is slightest room for doubting in a relationship,it wud end up as a failure.
yes its awkward feeling to talk to predetermined-impostor....
whats bullshit for me is, when u say its pressure... unless blackmailed (which won't fit in category of love)she 've all the rights to walk away. and if she continues to be loyal to her boyfriend doesn't add up as pressure.
Shari, LOVE is highest authority. in front of love there is no room for shame.your values comes from your senses... even those will be sacrificed in ultimate love.
what you abhor and what u desire can be affective to yourself and such notion valued partner.thats why guys and girls are in searching mode.
With no intention of disrupting this increasingly interesting arguement, where is my comment? =(
anonymous, looks like we're two ends of the world on this. fine. all i can say is everyone has a personal account & it just doesnt sound right for anyone to use someone else's. btw u sound like whosane :-)
velvette, i dont kno. i was wondering where u were actualy. i thought maybe u said somethin & deleted it. oh well, say it again dear. i'd love to see wat u think of this 'increasingly interesting argument'
no. u still missing the essence in it. the thing is, there ain't any really good or bad thing about it.
ekekeke...yes, i deeply do believe its a stupid idea(PERSONALLY). but that doesnt mean its wrong...dho?
hhhmmmm... i have a perfect question for u... On what level do u call informations are private?
for example, i can say, i came across an article,in ur blog, that state ur affection's to a particular girl. u have described her and your sense of euphoria too.
Honestly i won't publicize such thing. Though i may tell to some close friend of mine.
Where's the sensitivity in here?
anonymous, yeah that's my point. personally i also believe it's a stupid idea which means personally i believe it's wrong. stupid can't be right, eh. ofcourse there'll be those who dont think it's wrong. afterall we're all entitled to our opinion. e.g. i'm adamant cbox is a bad idea (refer to my post on cbox if u haven't read it) but a lot of bloggers don't find anything wrong with it...
& i've the perfect answer for your question. i've written a coupla such articles BUT i didnt reveal the identities of my objects of affection, thereby keeping their privacy intact. the question of sensitivity doesnt arise here at all. noone who reads my blog will ever have any idea who i'm talking about. for them it's just a piece of texts about emotions. only a few of my close friends with whom i'm comfortable enough to discuss girls will actually know. i did tell u about one if u're who i think u're. as a writer i'll express what's on my mind at the time but i know where to draw the line.
u'll often see that sorta thing in newspapers where reporters quote their sources in anonymity. it's their views but noone will know who they're. & see, u're publicising your opinion but keeping your privacy by commenting as anonymous. more or less a similar idea.
being in love might be you are sharing or on the way to sharing a life together, but it does not mean literally becoming one person. you'll still have yr friends and your own life and even secrets. why the heck not. for instance, some ppl think that if a friend tells you something in confidence then it does not apply to telling yr partner. but he/she is NOBODY to the friend! the friend might as well discuss it with a stranger on the street then.
giving the other person the space and privacy is important for the other person to remain who you fell in love with. i think the only reason someone wud not let their partner have their privacy is insecurity and lack of trust, not some overblown notions of love.
Nope, stupid doesn't mean wrong. For me, girls wearing veils is stupid. Cos i lose interest and i can't admire them (sort of praising their beauty). But in order to be pious they are doing it... see the conflict of interest? ( i think i said this before. When we met the other day)
In ur article u kept her anonymity, yes. So does her boyfriends intention was, more or less.
ye, we often see the paper columns where couples pour out their emotions.though there is tendency to leak from newspaper itself. It may not happen to pawns (haha i like to use this word) but high profile people succumb to such situation.
Actually,as humans, we have to solve our problems with our partners. If its irreconcilable differences then giving up is best.
one more thing...
whats the difference between determination and stubbornness?
to my understanding, stubbornness is holding firmly on to one's belief/attitude & determination is the strong will to achieve something...
goood post. and u have made goood points. yeah
i suggest u write something about gang violence.Am flabbergasted, with Maldivian behavior.
hey why dont u two discuss this over coffee
ehennoonee, be more civilised and settle it with a duel! (thalhaiganey thalhaiganey!)
kathurufani, suck your teenage thumb!
kathurufani, there's nothing to settle here. he's my good friend & we only had an open exchange of opinions. healthy debate is one of the main purposes of blogging.
anonymous, yea i'd love to write one on that but the problem is noone knows wats behind all this. so need to get an insight first...
sure, some people think so.
but if theres nuthing to hide, theres nuthin to be afraid of eh?
but i agree, it is pretty annoying.
i once had to talk to a frend abt sumthin pretty personal. okay so its a girl thing, its a red coloured girl story.
ok so i said hi to 'her' and started talking. she didnt give me any advice. after i told her everything about the red thing, she said 'hehe' and signed off.
it pissed me off. so later i asked her why teh fok she didnt help me out right, and she said that HER BF WAS CHATTING WITH ME THAT NITE AND THAT HE TOLD HER ABOUT IT AND HE EVEN TOLD HIS FRENDS. and one of his closiestiestiest frends is my damn BF! hmph....... =(
something like that (even more) happened to me. in this case what happened was she stopped using her own account and created an account with both their names combined (like..if the guy is mohamed and girl is aishath it is like 'mohashath') and started using it. and even on face book i added her thinking it was her. but later i discovered it was him and her. dhen loabiviyas boduvaru.she finally lost her identity. i dunno whether the guy have his own personal account or not. but she have to share her personal account with him. i wonder if they even share toothbrush,undergarments and stuff like that.
Just because you're going out with someone doesn't mean that everything that's yours should be his.
I mean, I've heard of sharing but this is ridiculous.
*Appreciates Sky for not being controlling*
i agree with ur post, that guys are too controlling of their gals. which is wrong. and girls are dumb for putting up with it.
the gal "loves" the guy and thus gives him the password and whatever, but doesnt realized that if the guy "loves" her, he'd trust her a little? stupid. utter stupidity.
hear hear! i agree with you.
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